i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize