I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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