burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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