His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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