This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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