I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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