I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
