Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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