can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
