obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
