Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
