Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
