Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize