Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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