NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
