I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize