love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
