We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
