Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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