whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
