GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
