It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
