It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
