i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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