we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
