Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize