I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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