Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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