Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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