Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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