No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
