Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
