Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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