At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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