i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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