Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you will always have a special place in my vag
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
