Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
