She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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