Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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