Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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