escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
