Where did you get a picture of my penis
she smelled like a LAN party
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
