you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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