I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
