I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize