You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
