Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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