i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
