hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
