she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
