pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So much Jack, so little girl.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
