and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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