Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
