We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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