Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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