girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
