Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
