Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
