I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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