I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Randomize
