Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We are two peas in an std pod
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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