im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
