Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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