So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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